Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
