Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she looked like the before picture.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
