dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
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I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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