3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
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I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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