his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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