Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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