I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
