they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
