Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
