The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dignity is for republicans.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
