I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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