Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
