exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize