Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This is not my ceiling
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell stomach acid.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
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