So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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