Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.