I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.