You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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