I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
