I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
