Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
