Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
