doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
