Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize