no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.