hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though