so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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