how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
