she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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