Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
