I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
