Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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