Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
