We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.