I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.