it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.