Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?

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  (614): I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip? http://tfl.nu/ff9b
  Replies (21) Good night (7081) Bad night (787)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?

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  (859): he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in? http://tfl.nu/0531
  Replies (52) Good night (1148) Bad night (6788)
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  (909): View more from California

  He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.

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  (909): He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me. http://tfl.nu/a0xa
  Replies (19) Good night (2325) Bad night (5925)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund

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  (480): oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund http://tfl.nu/xo4q
  Replies (6) Good night (2873) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break

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  (805): The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break http://tfl.nu/smih
  Replies (3) Good night (2783) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.

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  (517): Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise. http://tfl.nu/o3um
  Replies (12) Good night (3458) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.

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  (248): We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer. http://tfl.nu/kn8l
  Replies (8) Good night (3371) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.

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  (508): in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar. http://tfl.nu/rqsf
  Replies (9) Good night (1439) Bad night (2402)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.

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  (785): Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini. http://tfl.nu/90ss
  Replies (10) Good night (3327) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?

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  (989): Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ? http://tfl.nu/oaz9
  Replies (5) Good night (1216) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.

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  (303): I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers. http://tfl.nu/x72i
  Replies (4) Good night (1406) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.

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  (603): I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee. http://tfl.nu/omfe
  Replies (13) Good night (1072) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.

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  (757): I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know. http://tfl.nu/rhaa
  Replies (1) Good night (786) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket

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  (+44): you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket http://tfl.nu/sq21
  Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.

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  (515): Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted. http://tfl.nu/i4ke
  Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (169)

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