so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I have fence marks all over my body
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.