: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
