Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.

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  (803): so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points. http://tfl.nu/u3st
  Replies (51) Good night (5167) Bad night (962)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".

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  (239): And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine". http://tfl.nu/teku
  Replies (9) Good night (4519) Bad night (794)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great

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  (425): she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great http://tfl.nu/nw44
  Replies (26) Good night (1378) Bad night (4306)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.

  (607): View more from New York

  Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.

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  (203): Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone. (607): Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend. http://tfl.nu/z2i9
  Replies (7) Good night (5819) Bad night (999)
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  (347): View more from New York

  sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

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  (347): sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things. http://tfl.nu/13io
  Replies (36) Good night (8284) Bad night (1234)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate

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  (941): sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate http://tfl.nu/n9pe
  Replies (8) Good night (3868) Bad night (1365)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?

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  (210): We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this? http://tfl.nu/a3d2
  Replies (11) Good night (2829) Bad night (927)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.

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  (819): We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive. http://tfl.nu/7d2g
  Replies (20) Good night (4419) Bad night (957)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea

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  (484): Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea http://tfl.nu/f1ip
  Replies (5) Good night (1455) Bad night (1575)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.

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  (517): well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle. http://tfl.nu/5dkw
  Replies (11) Good night (1727) Bad night (1718)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

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  (503): I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested. http://tfl.nu/ut9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1662) Bad night (1047)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something

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  (573): Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something http://tfl.nu/61ie
  Replies (7) Good night (696) Bad night (1196)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.

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  (330): Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/fh7u
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (376)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.

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  (630): I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track. http://tfl.nu/9q0f
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (511)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.

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  (616): do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling. http://tfl.nu/qcnf
  Replies (4) Good night (1146) Bad night (253)

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