remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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