No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
