This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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