She said her name was "party"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
