i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
