Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize