I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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