Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
