hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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