so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
