at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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