ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
