New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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