You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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