It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
