Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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