I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize