Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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