This show inspires me to have sex in space
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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