The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
