So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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