I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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