dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
