Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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